My Woodbull Family

The 18th of January is a very special day for me. It was the day I got five other siblings. ‘Officially,’ we’v been family for four years now, but for me the story starts two years before that. I want to share with you the day that God brought the TB family into my life and how I knew, from day one, that they would take up such a big part of my heart.

We were on furlough the year of 2006. The whole time had been jam-pact with activities and churches and historical sights and faces that it is all, sadly, a bit of a blur. As an 11 year old girl a lot was changing for me emotionally and there were times I thought I just couldn't handle all the moving, the unknown. And the feelings of not BELONGING anywhere or really KNOWING anyone were strong.

There's one night I remember in particular. Me and my sister were in bed, and I was sobbing. I wanted so badly for life to be normal. And I knew that just going back home (Mozi) wouldn't cut it. By now I didn't know many m.ks there and there weren't many m.ks there to know in the first place. I felt beyond words the ache of being so alone in this big world. All I wanted was someone who I could say of, 'THIS is my friend'. As much as an 11 year old girl can feel, I felt. I remember Sarah comforting me, telling my that God would provide. That night I fell asleep begging God to bring someone, begging Him to take away my loneliness. 

The very next morning, I kid you not, I was awakened by an answered prayer! I could hear the voices of my siblings in the living room talking over something. When I joined them, I found that Sarah had just gotten an email from a girl named Damarise, who had four younger siblings (around our ages) and  who was writing because (can you guess it?) they're family was moving up to Namp as missionaries! I was ecstatic, as you can imagine...I just KNEW God had something beautiful in store!

We met the TB family about a month after the email. And like we always say, 'We just clicked!'. When we got back to Mozi they were waiting for us. We grew closer and closer and one day, while the TB kids were staying with us, we (never do we agree on who thought it first:)) had this great idea to adopt each other! We thought it was going to be just a little thing for fun, but after four years, our family is still strong! We have so many wonderful, hard, exciting memories together. Each and everyone of them has a big place in my heart, and will always be a part of me. After all, when God brings people into your life in such an amazing way, you don't just let them go. Thank you, God, for my siblings...every single one of them!

I Have Discovered My Super-Power!

I have discovered my superpower. Shame it’s taken me so many years!

Setting: Mom and Dads room, Grace and Benaiah on couch, Mom sitting in rocking-chair

Me- nudge Benaiah in the ribs

Benaiah- ‘Hey!’ shoves my shoulder

Me- ‘Mom, Benaiah…he HIT me!’

Mom- turning around in time to see Benaiah gasp as he shoves me again ‘Benaiah!’

Me- Looking hurt ‘Mom, he-he did it again!’

Mom- ‘Benaiah!’

Benaiah- sputtering ‘She hit me first!’

Me- bringing on the tears. ‘Benaiah, that was a LOVE pat.’

Benaiah- snorts ‘Liar.’

Mom- ‘Benaiah!’

Me- ‘You just called me a liar? Benaiah, I was just trying to tell you I love you.’

Benaiah- Thoroughly speechless. I have made him into the bad guy and Mom’s eating it up.

Me- laugh. ‘Mom, no It was me.’ And proceed to explain how I was just joking.

­Benaiah- ‘You’re so mean.’

Me- about to cry. ‘Mo-o-om’

:)

Journey Home-Through the Valley

You’re walking home: You get to the place you absolutely dread passing. It freaks you out. You’re sure someone or something is going to come out of the shadow/ forsaken house/ woods, whatever, you fill it in. Cause I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about. And I’m pretty sure you know what you’re going to have to do. Keep walking. And walk fast!

Ok, so maybe you don’t do that. Maybe you wait, and wait, and wait. But, honey, we’ve been here 50 times before and we all know to get home, you have to get through. Maybe you run, maybe you sneak, maybe you grab a couple of friends and you all scream your way through. But you gotta pass it, like it or not.

And now you’re wondering, where is she going with this? And what a weird way to get to a point. It is, right?

I guess what’s been on my mind lately is that even though there are things you’re scared to death to do, things you never ever wanted to have to face, things you would prefer to just not have happened at all....News flash: it does, and you have to. My advise? Keep walking.

I’m not gonna lie to you, the future is scaring me. Like bad. But (unless I die NOW!) the future will always be there. Somehow, no matter how hard it is to get through, how hard it is to keep face, how hard it is to trust God, I have to keep walking. Because in the end, I know where it leads...I’m going Home. How about you?

And We Welcomed the New Year with Amazing Grace

My New Years was pretty sweet! There was a party at the Cunninghams house. The Cunninghams live at this HUGE farm and, let me tell you, that family knows how to have fun! I don’t think I’ve ever been totheir house without coming back sore, tired but full of wonderful memories! And yesterday was no exception.

First we got there and there was volleyball. I watched. It’s tough cause when you’re so good at something, it’s sometimes better to sit out just so you don’t make others look bad, you know? Ok, no, the truth is. . . I stink at sports. Hehe. The game ended and we younger folk decided to play again. THEN I played volleyball! Haha! It was fun! Even if it was a bit unsuccessful. But, hey, my team won!See? ;)

Afterwards we hung out. Old friends, I-haven’t-seen-you-in-a-long-time friends and new friends.  The second thing I gotta say is that Kiwi’s are crazy-fun. And if you’re reading this, Kiwi’s, just let me say- You guys are awesome! J During this whole time if was just randomness while we waited for our food to cook. Well, Andrew, Benaiah and I cheated, we brought meat already cooked.  Which now I’m so thankful for seeing how long it took some people to get their food. Haha

The other thing I love about going to the Cunninghams is SCOTTISH DANCING!! New Years just wouldn’t be the same without it. And the best thing is, most everyone is learning so you don’t feel like you’re the only one messing up. JWe did three or four different dance. I love them all! And me and my dancing partner were pretty good! I think we rocked the most! =D

Next came Armies: otherwise known as Spotlight. Around 20 of us all piled on top of the car (no, seriously, on top, I think there were two person sitting inside. Everyone else was hanging on the bumper, in the back, holding onto the sides and sitting out the window). I wasn’t kidding when I said their place is HUGE. And it’s dark. With snakes. So when Mr. C drives us out into the bush, it really does kinda mean the bush with a narrow dirt road in between. But the thing is, your adrenaline is so high you hardly even realize your shoving through thorn thistles and scraping your hands on broken twigs and pressing your face against a place that could easily have been the location of a snake just a few moments before. But I guess that is what makes it so fun. But, I’m not going to lie, there were a few prayers of protection going up . . . at least from me! Another thing I love about the Cunningham’s place are the stars! You look up into the sky and you can see trillions and trillions of stars! It’s so beautiful and majestic. (Oh, did you know that the reason we can see the Southern Cross all year long is because it’s below us? I learned many useful things!) And I always get to see a shooting star there(btw, did you know it’s the leprechauns that shoot them across the sky?)! Stars are gorgeous . . .you should definitely come to Africa to see the stars. J

We walked back home, accompanied by ‘heavenly’ music. It took about 15 minutes or so and by this time it was getting pretty close to 11. We gathered around the bonfire, roasted marshmallows and sang songs. It was beautiful! There’s something so special about worshiping God amongst other believers around a fire, late at night (while roasting marshmallows and sitting by the guitar and singing Power of Your Love and…). Then we had a time of saying what we were grateful for in 2010 and prayers for 2011. It makes you stop and realize just how good God has been to us these past few years. As the clock hit 12:00 we were all standing around the fire, holding hands and singing Amazing Grace.

After that most everyone left except for a few of us young people. There were 11 of us who stayed the whole night. We went inside to play mafia. Yeah, it got pretty hectic! JThen we sat outside just talking, telling jokes, being weird, saying pick-up lines, tearing leaves and dodging falling mangos. Seriously, there’s hardly anything more terrifying then sitting under 10 tall trees that are ALL raining mangos. Around 4:30 we headed off to sleep (after me and the girls tried prank-calling, of course J).

All in all it was a pretty awesome New Year. I came home this morning sore, tired, but full of wonderful memories! I mean there’s nothing much better than welcoming the New Year with Amazing Grace.

Shine, little firefly, shine!

The other night while walking outside I saw a beautiful little firefly! I love fireflies! They're so precious. =) I quickly reached through the grass and held the little bug in my hand, admiring its light. Such a tiny little creature, a BUG no less, and yet look at how brilliant it shines! Here in the midst of darkness it shows how beautiful his light can be. I stood there for a while, mesmerized, just watching it walk across my hand. I was going to set it down, but stopped. This was a firefly! I couldn't just set it down any old place! You know what I did??? I looked for the darkest shadow...that way its light could shine all the brighter! I set it down and smiled. Such an itty-bitty thing but how it glowed! I love fireflies. Did I say that already? =)  


Makes you wonder. . .am I being a firefly?

My Deepest Desire...

When people ask me what my dream is, what I want to do or what I want to be, the first thought in my head is: a wife and mom. For as long as I can remember that has always been what I wanted 'to be when I grow up'. And now, more than ever it seems, that desire is in me. I feel like that is when my life will begin, and all this is preparation for taking care of my house and family. I want to be that Proverbs 31 woman who takes care of her family, who is a blessing to her children and makes her husband proud. I want to be there to make our home a refuge and comforting place for my husband when he comes home from work. I want to be able to kiss my child’s knee better and rock my baby to sleep. I want my heart to burst with pride when I look to my husband, and feel protected and loved. This is my desire.

I am struggling right now with what I SHOULD be feeling though. A thought that's been popping into my head so often is, well..what if BECAUSE I want this so badly, God will decide that it's not for me. Maybe I need to understand that HE is my delight and HE should be my desire above all else. And (I know this is true!) that HE is more than enough for me? Am I willing to let that dream die if I have to?

The answer is...well, the answer is a hard one. :) Thankfully, I believe that as a woman (um, girl) God put these tendencies to care and nurture in my heart. I believe, from the Bible, that that is what God designed us for.

But, then again, sometimes Gods plan is for us to be single all our lives (which you can still be AND care and nurture others!). But when I think of a life spent...by myself like that. It seems so hard to face! That is what worries me. I need to prioritize. But how do I do that? God wants me to use these years in ways I won't be able to when I'm married! He wants me to rejoice in Him and find satisfaction in Him! And thankfully, I know I can.

So how do I get my mind off the future family plans and focus on the fact that I can live now? How can I find complete peace and joy in my Savior without feeling like I need my man (whoever, wherever he is)? And how do I know what the right balance is with focusing on God but also not turning away from these natural instincts God placed in me? How do I not feel scared and lonely when I think that maybe there isn't that guy out there for me? It's all soo....confusing.

But is it really? A quote I keep thinking and being reminded of is: if God brings you to it, He will bring You through it. I think it is probably something we've all heard a million times, but it's so true. Whether or not I am going to get married by age 20, or spend my life serving God as a single, and whether or not I go to college or never leave Africa. Whatever it is, wherever it is, I can rest easy. God brought me to it, He will bring me through it.

I don't know what God has in store for me.... But one thing I do know is that His plan is perfect! And His ways past finding out. And another thing I know is that God is more than enough for me! And no matter what happens, I will be completely satisfied if I'm trusting in Him!

But does that mean I can't dream....;)

A Christmas story~

‘No silencio eu Te encontro.’

In silence I find You.

In silence I find You.

In silence I find You.

While thinking on these words and listening to a song I started wondering what it meant. In silence I find You.

‘From far away it looks like any old Christmas in Saimsville.

You can hear the children’s squealing and peals of laughter as they play in the snow, building snowmen and starting snow fights, none of them minding the cold . . . probably because they know inside their homes around the cozy fire is a plate of yummy sugar cookies and mugs of steaming hot cocoa. All around town the sweet smell peppermint and cinnamon wafts through the air mingling with the cheery strains of “Joy to the World” and “Dashing Through the Snow”. Parents, teachers, students, cousins, aunts, and uncles run around town with one thought in mind: where can I find the perfect Christmas gift? The streets and neighborhoods are lit up with brilliant decorations. Everywhere you go you find cheery voices, bright eyes, laughter and love.

You smile happily. Tis the season to be jolly, falalalal--Wait! What’s this? You peer closer.  A little house in a far corner of Saimsville is not lit up. Now that you see it, it is glaringly obvious. You look disdainfully at it. It looks so shameful amidst the glowing lights and beautiful decorations of the town. Oh well. As you were singing: fa-lalalalalala, la, la.

Larry Kurtz sat at his table, looking over his bare house. It was a quiet night. Quiet and cold. Just like the night he had said goodbye to his wife of 49 years. It had been two months till their 50^th when they got the news: she was sick, with only a few weeks to live. But she had embraced it, her faith in God enabling her to get through, and even enjoy, the last few days of her life on earth. Larry cherished every moment they had spent together. God had blessed them with 49 years of pure joy. Sure, there were hard time- like when they couldn’t quite make ends meet and they were scraping the bottom of the money jar, but God had always provided. Larry remembered a particularly hard December. It was Christmas Eve and their son was saying his nightly prayers. . .

“And please, dear God, help mommy to find a turkey for Christmas.” Larry remembered seeing the tears in his wife’s eyes as she kissed their son good night. It was the only thing their son had asked for that year- not for cars and Christmas trees and lights and toys like all of his friends had. All he asked for was a turkey. That night Larry knelt down and prayed, asking God to somehow provide them with a turkey for their little boy. If that’s all he got, Larry knew it would be enough to prove to his son they had not been forgotten.

Early next morning Larry awoke to a knock at his door. When he opened it their stood their young neighbor boy in his pajamas holding up a turkey.

 “Merry Christmas Mr.Kurtz! Mama wants to know if you would be so kind as to take this turkey from us. He was causing so much trouble with all the other turkeys. Keptpeckin‘em and all. So, we had to kill ‘em, but ma already fixed up old Tom for supper. Do y’all wanna take ‘em?” Larry stood dumbfounded. God had done it. God had given them a turkey!

“Well, I think we can find room on our table for him,” Larry said grinning ear to ear.

“Thank you, son. You don’t know what a blessing this is for us!”

“No problem, Mr. Kurtz! Merry Christmas!”

Larry closed the door and whooped, “We got ourselves a turkey!” The excitement in his family’s eyes was priceless. “I knew God would do it, I knew He would.” Larry still remembered his son whispering. That year they had turkey, corn, rolls and gravy. It may not seem like much, but it was the best Christmas that Larry could remember.

Larry finished the last of his tea and sighed. The sound of laughter drifted through the window as a young couple walked by. This Christmas he was by himself. He had sold all his decorations along with most of his other belongings to help pay the hospital bills. All he had was one little star ornament. Painted on it were the words,  ‘In the silence He is there’. Larry didn’t quite know why he had kept that one. But it had always been his favorite. Even in the silence, Christ was there. Larry looked around him; Well if anytime was silent it was now. Normally Christmas would be a time of cheer and laughter in his household. All the excitement! But this year he had no one to shop for, he had no one to dream with, he had no one to celebrate with. It was going to be a quiet Christmas.

The next morning Larry woke up early and sat out on his porch. All was still. Everyone was sleeping peacefully in his or her bed. Larry watched the last few stars, twinkling in the early dawn sky. He wondered about the first Christmas morning so long ago when Jesus Christ was born. It was probably a morning just like this. No big parties and families gathered round to see baby Jesus. No lit up room and excited voices at the birth of the great King. It had taken place in a small manger. Mary, Joseph and some cows. A quiet place.A peaceful place.In his heart Larry smiled. ‘In the silence He is there.’ As Larry lifted his hands and prayed to the Prince of Peace, thanking Him from the still and quiet place in his heart, he heard a familiar voice breaking through the silence.

  “Merry Christmas Mr.Kurtz! Can you take this turkey? He’s been causing us problems. . . .” Larry smiled. This Christmas was quickly becoming second on his list of bests. “Thank You, God,’’ Larry whispered.’

I don’t know if this story ties in with the beginning of my post, but this is where it went.

Have a blessed Christmas y’all! And remember: Even in the silence He is there.

What you WANT to do, and what you GOT to do

Why is it that when you feel so free spiritually you find you’re most tied down realistically? Take the past two weeks for instance.

I guess it all started while having a pity party for myself because I would be ‘sisterless’ and lonely and everyone should pity me, the poor M.K who has lost her best friend. 

While in the midst of trying to gather up sympathy from all those within 200 meters of me, something one of my friends said just kinda hit me.  It was pretty much ‘Get a grip’.

Get a grip. Ouch. I mean, seriously, no wants to hear that they have been acting like a crybaby and there little ‘Woe is me’ act is getting them nowhere. Just let me wallow, ok?

But I want to say thank you to that person…you helped me. One of the advise I had gotten was to occupy my time so that I wouldn’t have to think about how much I would miss my sister and I would have more time to be productive. So, after determining I was NOT going to be a sourpuss anymore I came up with a list of things to do. And guess what?? I was so excited! Planning a Safari Salon, starting a craft/ministry with the Mozambiquan ladies, helping at one of the orphanages here, learning crotchet and so much more! The greatest thing I think I was looking forward to is spending more one on one time with Christ and in His word. When things are stripped away, the greatest gift is that it brings you closer to Him.

I was feeling so positive! So happy and…free. I felt like the things that were IMPORTANT in life I’d have a chance to do!

You want to guess the downer? Uh-huh. Graphs, Nepal, Pascal, Special use dictionaries and the like. Other wise known as—School.

It seems like it’s always sneaking up on me.

To be honest with you I think, well, one can spend their whole life doing school and getting As but miss out on what’s most important. I mean, I know, I know. Education is valuable and I’m grateful for it but if I have to choose between trying to live up to the expectations of a man who thinks I came from monkeys and that life was produced by an explosion OR using the situations God places me in and the time He’s given me to serve others, grow spiritualy, love fully, live loudly, shine brightly then, sorry, mister scientist dude: I pick the latter.

I’m not saying I shouldn’t study, or I’m not even saying I can’t do all those things AND study. But if I CAN’T do the important things in life because the world says I need to be in college by 18, I just don’t see why it should matter.

But it does. I feel like I’m drowning in school, and I feel like I’m such a failure because when we had the church retreat I missed out on two days of school. It matters.

So, why can I feel so free spiritually and like I’m doing what’s important, then at the same time feel like I’m a failure? I guess it part of being a human and living in a human world. The important thing is to make sure you’re not missing out on the most valuable things in life for something that in the end won’t last. I guess what it comes down to is prioritizing your time and what you do with it. I’ll learn it some day.

Uh, gotta go…my science book is making angry faces at me…again. J

I am now a Blogger(Bloggest, Blogga,???)

Ah, yes I am now a blogger.
I'm not sure how consistent I'll be but I hope I'll keep this up.
It's a little strange because for me the diffiniton of a blog has always been a diary online. =)
My goal for this blog will be(you can hold accountable:)) that for every post there should be something positive. That shouldn't be too hard, right? I'll just be posting my thoughts, random writtings, days happenings and I guess we'll see whatever else pops up!
Ok, so I'm going to keep this first post brief. Just saying thanks for reading my blog! =)