Furlough is coming up…which means a lot of goodbyes. It’s always an emotionally stressful time. And what makes it worse is not just the fact that we are leaving for a year (which is hard enough) but also never knowing how much will change, how many people will leave and who you might never see again.
It’s one of those times when you ask yourself: is it really worth it? I mean, as an M.K (I don’t say that in a proud-better than you way…I just mean it as my point of view) goodbyes are a natural part of life. Whether it’s people on your mission field, people you meet on furlough, people you get to know just passing through, the inevitable always comes…and way to soon. And the whole time while you’re saying goodbyes in your mind you’re wondering if you’ll ever see that person again. Or how long it will take you to forget they ever once meant so much to you.
Is it really worth it? For every friend you make, for every person you share your heart with, for every memory that is created…it makes it just that much harder to let go. Can’t love, can’t hurt, right?
But then, if you can’t hurt you can’t love. I know that sounds like I’m just saying the same thing twice but it’s different! Love is what makes a life meaningful. It doesn’t just keep you going, but it keeps you going with a big goofy smile on your face. And friendship is one of the greatest kinds of love. If you can’t endure the fact that hard times will come, if you’re not willing to shed a few tears for the sake of finding beauty in the souls around you, then, well…I guess you don’t deserve to know what it’s like to go to bed every night, brim full of beautiful memories and pictures of those people who, no matter what, will always have a place in your heart.
I like to use the illustration of me, my sister and showers. I remember the first time we actually had a constant flow of heated water. It was great! And I couldn’t believe why my sister chose to take a cold shower when a hot one was just one faucet turn away! When I asked her she said it was ‘incase we lose the hot water, I want to be prepared for it.’ I thought that was one of the silliest things. For me, I think, if you run out of hot water, then you’re going to HAVE to deal with cold showers whether you like it or not. Why not delight in the hot showers now, before they’re gone forever? At least you’ll have the blissful rememberace of what it once was like!
Same with friends! Why live in a bubble and seclude yourself ‘just in case’ something happens, when NOW you can be making memories and creating friendships that might last for a lifetime?
I’m leaving this Tuesday. I’ve said my goodbyes. I’ve given the this-may-be-the-last-time hugs, I’ve shed my tears. And I’ve asked the question; is it worth it?
Yeah. Yeah, it is. I wouldn’t trade the chance of getting to know people that I have now come to love, for the world. They each are so special to me. I don’t know if I’ll see them all again. And, honestly, I don’t even know if I’ll remember all of them as the years roll by. But I know one thing; tonight, as I’m lying in bed, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the time has come to leave, I’ll think of all my friends. I’ll remember all the memories. I’ll marvel out how much we’ve grown together these past years. And I’ll smile. For tonight, I’ll remember. And for tonight, I’ll be thankful...for each and everyone of you that have found a place so securely in my heart.
