Rest..

Dear Friends,
It's one in the morning and I can't go to sleep. I keep..remembering. And the thing is, I WANT to. I want to remember, I want to feel sad, I want to make up dreams, I want to change what was.
But the other half of me is fighting so strongly against it. I guess I always feel like, you can't give into those feelings, because it's showing regret over the situations God put you through. It's showing selfishness, in wanting to feel sorry for what you've got, when, in reality, I got it all. It's wanting to plan for your future, and not rest, being assured that it is all in Gods hands.
Rest. I pray for rest. And yet part of me wants this restlessness. Part of me wants to continue in wishing and dreaming. If you're reading this, then please pray that rest would win..because I don't think I can fight this on my own.
Tomorrow is Sunday...I want to have peace and rest. Both physically and spiritually.
So, I pray for rest.
Good night, you all. Or should I say; Bom dia.

All Her Little Toys

Hey Everyone!
In Literature I'm learning about irony in writing, and they asked my to write a couple of paragraphs of a situation of irony. It got me thinking, and this is where it lead to! It's a very different (and somewhat awkward) writing style for me, but I hope the message comes through.
P.S. Any thoughts on a good title? Let me know! 

*******

  She twirled in circles, watching the little sheep fly. Then stopped suddenly to examine the hole in the sheep’s stomach. She frowned. How could she find a sheep nurse like the one on TV? She twirled again, this time closing her eyes to imagine the four sheep swinging in the air, perfect and whole. Mommy said she could watch the Animal Nurse today with Betsy. She liked the animal nurse because she helped sick animals. She froze, the side of her skirt bunched up in a tiny fist, looking very hard at the wall, thinking of the boy. She told everyone she didn’t like boys, but the truth was she really did like the one in Animal Nurse. She always remembered when he and the animal nurse kissed...on the lips! Sometimes, she pretended she was kissing him instead.

  

  “Mommy, let’s watch! Let’s watch! But I don’t want to see no yucky boy, nu-uh!”

Mommy looked at Betsy’s mom and laughed,

  “See? I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with hormones yet; I dread the day!” And both mommy’s nodded and began talking again in hushed tones. She watched tea dribble down the side of Mommy’s teacup. Like when the rain falls on the window, merging into a murky puddle at the bottom.

  

  “Let’s watch, let’s watch, let’s watch!” She screeched, grabbing Betsy’s hand and jumping up and down. She grabbed Mommy’s arm and screamed again. Betsy jumped a little bit, too. ‘She wants to be funny like I am.’ She thought. ‘But I am funnier!’ She yanked and she pulled, and she screeched and she jumped, happily knowing that the little sheep were silently joining in on her dance.

   

  “Sweety, not now. Let go of my arm please. Please, darling, won’t you let Mommy go?” Mommy was lightly tugging at her arm. ‘Mommy loves playing with me.’ She thought. “No, no! Let’s watch Animal Nurse!” She screeched again.  She dug her nails in just a little. It felt kind of good feeling Mommy’s skin under her fingernails, knowing she could scratch her if she wanted to. But she didn’t want to, because she was happy. She was happy because she was going to watch Animal Nurse, and because she was wearing her sheep skirt.

  

  “Let go of my arm, sweety!” Mommy said ‘sweety’ but she didn’t mean it. She could see it in mommy’s eyes that she was getting mad.  She let go; very happy because now Betsy’s mom would think she was being a nice girl. Betsy’s mom sometimes gave her ice cream and chocolate. She screamed louder this time, to make up for letting go of Mommy’s arm.

  

  “Darling, not right now. Betsy’s mommy and I are having tea. I’ll put it on later, for you, okay, sweety?” She was not happy. Mommy said she could watch Animal Nurse! She stuck her lip out and hoped her face was turning red. ‘Mommy needs to feel bad for saying no to me!’ she thought.

   “NO! I hate you! I hate tea! I hate Betsy’s mommy! I hate you! I hate you-“ She didn’t what else to say, but she wanted mommy to feel bad, like the way she felt bad. “I hate you more then all my pink medicine! Ah!” She screamed and cried and shrieked. One time, she screamed so high that Mommy let her have a skirt. It was the sheep skirt she was wearing now. That’s why she loved it so much, because she was very proud the way she got it. Mommy tried hugging her, but she wasn’t going to let Mommy do that.

   

  “Oh, baby girl, please don’t cry like that. Please, don’t cry in front of Betsy.  Can’t you see you’re making Mommy very sad? If you stop now, Mommy will give you a piece of candy, okay?  And, Mommy will let you make a puzzle!”

  ‘I like candy, but I like Animal Doctor better,’ she thought. She threw herself on the floor and kicked and punched. She was so mad she wanted to push the ground out. That way, Mommy could fall and fall and fall. 

  

  Finally mommy said, “If you don’t stop now you won’t watch any movie!”           

She stopped screaming, but she crossed her arms in front of her and stuck her lip out further, giving a loud ‘hur-rumph’. ‘Like the girl on TV,’ she thought. ‘She always looks so cute when she does this.’ 

   “There now," Her Mommy smiled. "Now go make a puzzle with Betsy, like a good girl.”
But she didn’t want to be a good girl. She wanted to be a bad girl. She wanted to be mad forever and ever so that mommy would always be sad. Bitsy looked kind of like a bug watching her tantrum. Her arms were sticking out at the side and a glob of saliva was slowly oozing out of the corner of her mouth. In fact, Betsy looked so funny, she would’ve almost laughed if she was not so mad at her mommy. She grabbed Betsy’s hand roughly and pulled her toward the door.

   “Come on, Betsy. Let’s leave them bullies!”

She and Betsy sat under the playroom table. She was still very, very mad.

   “I want to watch the Animal Nurse,” she whispered to the sheep with the hole. ‘I want to watch it so I can help you get better!’ She pressed the cloth together, hoping to fix the hole. When she pulled her hand away, the hole was only bigger now.

  

   “I hate you, too!” She sobbed and ripped the sheep completely apart. “I hate everyone.” She said sullenly. “I only love the animal nurse…and the boy!” She felt funny saying that about the boy out loud. Would Mommy come and scold her? She looked around the room, and when nothing happened, she giggled.

  “I love the boy!” she tested the words out again, this time a little louder.
“I want to kiss him. Right on his lips!” She instantly blushed, but when again no one responded, she laughed harder. She was so funny! She rolled under the table and laughed and laughed.

Betsy had pulled out a princess puzzle and brought it to her. She smiled happily. Even if Mommy wouldn’t let her watch the movie, Mommy couldn’t stop that she loved the boy and that she was thinking about him. She had won again! 

She dumped the puzzle pieces on the floor and spread them all out.  She picked up a flower part and looked for another like it. “Aha!” She stated, very pleased to be the first to find two matching pieces. Just when she was about to put them together, the door opened. Her mommy was smiling really big.

   “Sweety, Mommy put on Animal Nurse for you. Come watch now, my Darling!”

She stuck out her lip and hoped her face was turning red.

   “But I want to build a puzzle!” 

Paper Ribbons

The other day I was searching around the house for ribbon. Which is pretty much like looking for a needle in a haystack. So, I had to get creative. Here's what I got. And remember, the next time you're about to search high and low for some ribbon...just go to Gracie-notes instead. =)

What you need:
 Paper towel
 Scissors
 Crayons (markers, pastels)
 Hole puncher

Take the paper towel and cut a narrow strip longways across one side, leaving the last centimeter intact. Then cut another strip right along side it, snipping the edge off this time.

Then color the paper towel strips. (I did each side a different color for fun. Orange and yellow, blue and silver etc..)

                                                   

Wrap the two strips tightly around each other and twist the ends together

Punch a hole in your name tag (in this case), thread the ribbon through it, and tie the ends together.

Ta-da!! Cute and easy. =)

(Sorry about the messy arrangement...picture blogging is a lot harder that I thought it would be!)

Nazarite Vow (Why holiness? Part 2)

'But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ,'    Phil 3:6 
The big question is: What is it about holiness that makes people up and suffer and throw everything else away? First off, what IS holiness? The definition is Set Apart. To be set apart. Okay..from what? Well, set apart from sin in this case. 
So, the big thing is to be set apart from sin. But is it really worth giving up everything for this holiness?
  -Hebrews 12:14 '..Without holiness no one will see the Lord.' 
Humm, so maybe it's not so much about holiness as it is about seeing the Lord.    -Matthew 12:14 'The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.'

Jim Elliot  is a perfect example of someone who willingly gave up everything for the sake of Christ. And you want to know what he said? 

  -'He is no fool who gives what he can not keep, to gain what he can not lose.' 

Let me just say it like this: It's not about what you give up..it's all about what you gain. And if the gain of knowing God is worth giving up everything else in my life...I want in.

'That I MAY KNOW HIM,  and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.'    Phil 3:10