Give Him your future, and He will use your past

While we were in California, I had the amazing opportunity to help out a Rescue Mission a few times. I can not tell you how blessed I was to serve there.
The Mission feeds the homeless and poor two meals a day, but along with that, they have a special 9 month program for men who want to turn their lives around. And it is truly a beautiful thing to see how God is using this mission to 'rescue, recover and restore' so many lives.

My first time at the rescue mission I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect. But afterward I looked back and was so amazed. The whole time I was there, I could hardly believe how gentle, humble, and polite these men were.

On one of my first trips I got to meet a young man who was in charge of dinner. I was struck by how honest and sincere he seemed to be. He told me he had just gotten baptized and how awesome Jesus was to him. He didn't try to hide the mistakes and sins of his past, but spoke openly about his addiction to drugs, and how he has been living 'before'.
On my last visit, I was assigned kitchen duty again. I was working with another young man. He told me he was 22, and throughout the conversation I found out that he had been taking care of his younger brother, was divorced, and his ex had custody of his 3 year old son. And here he was, planning the meal, serving it out to other homeless families, in rehabilitation, sharing his life story, and loving Christ. He told me he wanted to graduate and gain custody of his son. He introduced me to his little brother and pointed to the first guy I had worked with a few months earlier. 'He's my older brother..and that guy over there? That's my dad. We're all making the change together.' I was amazed. And humbled. And encouraged.

I am always thanked much for serving at the rescue mission. They make it seem like it's such a sacrifice and burden to help serve meals. I wish they only knew how they are ministering to me! How they remind me that there is more to life. How they manifest God's power and love in a way that no one else can. How they have brought me to my knees in prayer. And most of all how they have taught me that when you give your future to God, He WILL use your past -regardless of what it is- for His glory.
Praise be to Him, hallelujah!
http://www.vcrescuemission.org/index.php/en/rrr

Welcome to my Funeral

One reads of these characters in books that are the constant support and ever understanding. Then they get stepped on by the one person they try so hard to stand up for, and it is too much for them to bear. Their hurt turns to bitterness. The pitiful bruised soul shows itself in ugly revenge. They reach out to hurt their offender. Not physically. No, not physically, because that wouldn’t equal the pain that they themselves have been inflicted with. With the most powerful tool we have, they jump into battle with snide comebacks, and angry protests. They turn all their efforts that were placed to support and to love, into discontentment and rage.

But if one could see into her soul, all that would be left is pieces. No hate is harbored there. Only sorrow. The fire that burns is not of anger, but of anguish. The tears she cries are not from rage, but are borne from rejection.  And one would feel pity. It would bring about a sense of shame and guilt to the viewer that a soul, that once flourished and blossomed, would, on the account of ungratefulness, wither and perish.

 But how does one peer into the depths of a soul that is guarded and surrounded by thorns and snarling dogs?

And so she waits, wasting away, for her offender to finally see. For someone to finally understand, so that she may put away these foolish walls and once again reach out in love, to support and forgive. Her spirit aches for understanding and not judgment. For grace and not justice.

‘Cut through these walls and show me you care. Fight off my guard and conquer this spirit that is slowly rotting away in sorrow and self-pity! I am tired and weary of this pride that keeps my wounds afresh.’

  

  As the new year came in, I kept stumbling on the same verse: ‘Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, for love covers a MULTITUDE of sins.’  I wept, remembering Gods forgiveness towards me. How prideful I am to let my ‘feelings’ get in the way of serving Him by loving others. Who am I to waste this opportunity to be like Christ and forgive, and for what? My…self-respect? Jesus says ‘Die to self.’ And the beauty is…when you’re focusing on God, He will reward you with peace and fulfillment. It’s 5 days into the 2012. Let’s not wait till tomorrow.