..Reflection..

As much as it may seem to be, this is not a call for comments telling me how special I am and how much I mean to the people around me.

Maybe, maybe it has a hint of “pity party” to it.

But I think, more than that, it is just this: Truth.

So after evaluating my feelings (is this just an emotional reaction) and weighing the outcome (what will  your response be) I have decided (yes, it is true) to post about what has been weighing on my mind-and heart.

I am a “friendly” person. I love people and am not shy- so basically, the first time we meet, you will probably leave with a strong, mostly-accurate, opinion of who I am.

And--here I hesitate-- but you will probably like me. Or at least leave with words like “Bubbly, excited, talkative,” attached to the mental picture of a smiling, jolly, rounded face.

And this makes me happy. (“of course”, you might be thinking, “what doesn’t”?)

But…then…that’s all it is.

And now I watch you, getting to KNOW other people. Finding out about them. Growing, growing each day that you see them. Building from your foundation bit by bit, conversation by conversation. Discovering. Discovering “Who are You, You mysterious Person I have not yet REALLY met.”

My folder is still there, yes, of course. Always there. But sealed. Because, after all, it’s Gracie Woodrow. Everyone knows her.

Maybe, maybe, sometimes it is opened, but if so, it is to hastily scribble a few sides notes, such as: “She got upset.” “She was serious.” And instead of this adding, coloring or shaping my character in your mind, it detracts from it. Because now I’m the happy person…who sometimes doesn’t smile. Or the funny person…who didn’t tell a joke.

I’m not sure how I want this to end.  I’m thankful, I really am. I’m thankful I love people. I’m thankful people love me. I’m thankful that I can make friends in one day.

But, I guess

…….sometimes…….it makes me feel….

lonely